it is time :)))

pissed

i have been going through self pity for the past few months. i cannot pretend that i don’t get hurt whenever people especially of my kin telling me straight to my face that i am one fat arsed bitch. yes i am fat, and telling it straight to my face or gossiping about it won’t make me any less thinner. i am on a mission to diet and exercise the best way i can. not for anyone who has compromised the health of my ego but for me. so that i can stand in front of them, proud and smiling with an ‘in-yer-face’ look on my pretty face.. i am no superhuman who has a self-deflecting bracelet that could protect me from any more insults. actually these words do make sense and it will boost me to have a better body and health. give me some time folks. this won’t be easy but i can do it you’ll see.

--- this was a blog i reposted from my account from tumblr a day ago. at that time, as the title of it suggests, i was really pissed with all the 'you've-grown-so-big-you-are-so-fat-dombi-dombi-blah-blah-blah" of all the people around me. yes i admit, i was a damp squib especially to my family (and by family means my father, mother and my two sisters and nobody else after the latter, don't care about anybody else's opinion..yes, i said it right, go figure..) and i am now facing the music of my very own actions. the whole shebang and all the nitty gritty already striked so no need to dump it all on my face because aside from looking in the mirror, i know and i see myself more than any of you would do. suffice it to say that i learned and it is now the time to work on that.

the old times.. i wasn't skinny then, i was sex-aayyy!haha i kid... i wasn't thin but i had a nice body (for me at least), i can wear the clothes i wanted to, i can show off some skin when needed and although i feel fat then, i realized just now that i felt that way because of my two sisters who were skinny (so much for having two beautiful and skinny-scrawny sisters ayt! #IAmNoBitterForTheyAreMySistersTho.. hahaha) and most of all I FEEL CONFIDENT then..

my first few months here in abu dhabi. so much for being a carb hoarder, i got into the so-called 'peer pressure', the 'one-smokes-all-smokes-one-drinks-all-drinks' attitude. andddd......

bwalllaah!!! presenting the fat arsed bitch...all flubby-round-shaped-face..hehe all confidence gone.. :(( and it is all because of.....

 this....

and all theseeeee shizzzzzzz...... curse you all to heck!!! (including the people ala annoying oranges of my life)  haha

 ...and now, going to the sense of it all, i wrote this blog dedicated to the people who loves me, who insults me straight to my face because they care. yesterday i have received so much tlc from the people here at work, they want to be my mother by helping me realize the harsh reality that i am getting fatter and fatter and that they want to help me by motivating me and teaching me the do's and dont's.. also got an all inspirational request from a not-so-close cousin (touching..awwww) to try the zumba thingy, enumerated it's effects and benefits and encouraged me to try harder with exercise. after work, i had an invitation to go jogging and sweat our souls out by a very dear friend (ayyiiee.. inasar ko nalang talaga sarili ko..haha) and a midnight, small but sensible advise from a good friend. all in one day, slapping my chubby face of the reality and off to my lazy ass sticking on the couch...haha it is time. God made a way through this people by making them His instruments  for helping me bring back that dope and mojo in me..very much appreciated the deed Big Guy! thank you very much..and as much as i love them,i love you more for this btw, all the way yey!!! :)))